The Story Of The Fat Kid And The Insurance Man
TWO BLOGS IN ONE DAY – IT’S A FIRST
Well this is a blog entry I have been waiting to post. See today, March 25th is a special day. I know its Saturday and to some that may mean sleeping in. Well that is not why it’s special. Some may say, “Hey one more day and they race at Bristol!” well that is true, but that doesn’t make it special either. No today marks something totally separate. Let’s look back in the past.
The year was 1983 and a little fat kid was sitting in front of the television. Probably had a spoon in his hand and he was getting ready to dive into some Cool whip. Yes, Cool whip minus anything else. See the fat kid loved it. Well the fat kid’s momma went on a date with some Insurance salesman. Fat kid didn’t care, it just meant his sister would be watching him, and she would be busy with her own thing. Well the fat kid’s momma started dating this man more and more. Finally came the day the fat kid met the Insurance man. The insurance man dropped of a bunch of food at the fat kid’s house. Instantly the kid liked this stranger. He brought cookies, snack cakes, chips, and real sodas, like Coke and Pepsi, not those Winn Dixie imitations. Well the fat kid had no money, so the Insurance man told him he would pay him to mow his yard. Well the fat kid saw a guitar at the Insurance man’s house. He said “Hey man, would you teach me that?” The Insurance man was kind to show him a couple of chords. He even let the fat kid take the guitar home and practice.
Now summer came and it was 1984. The fat kid had to go visit someone in Florida. So when the Insurance man and the fat kids momma came to pick up him and his sister, they, the fat kid and his sister, noticed their momma was wearing a new ring on her left hand. The fat kid said, “You two got married, didn’t you?” His momma smiled from ear to ear and said, “Yes”. Well the fat kid did not care one way or another, but boy did his sister cry. She must have cried the whole way back to Georgia.
Now skip ahead to about 1986. The fat kid was not so fat anymore. See the Insurance man put up a basketball goal in the front yard. Now the fat kid’s friends could play after school. Friends like, Joe Mama, Headquarters, Allan or was it Michael Ballenger, Jessie whatever his last name is this week, Roderick and his brother, Tinker, and last but not least Bio Miller. So the fat kid lost weight, but all of a sudden he became cocky. See the Insurance man had some pretty strict rules and the fat kid didn’t want to play by them. He thought the Insurance man was just being mean to him. Rules like, make your bed, don’t lay on your bed during the day, every white man is up by 8:00 am, to include the summer, chores are a good thing and you don’t talk at the dinner table. So the fat kid made some stupid mistakes. Little mistakes like, steal a gun, try to grow some of the special hemp in the backyard, and the worst was drink to much and lock the Insurance man and his momma out of the house.
Well the Insurance man told the fat kid, “I am in the shipping business, not the receiving business. So when you graduate high school in 1987, you have a couple of choices. First is going to college and still stay at home. Second is get a job and you move out.” Well the fat kid said, “I’ll take the college thing”. Well the insurance man informed him he would have to pay for half of it. The fat kid thought to himself for a minute, “That means I will have to probably work full time and go to school part time. Man that is too much, forget that.” So the fat kid decided to skip college and go to work full time.
So when the fat kid graduated from high school he went to work for Bio’s dad. He made minimum wage and no health benefits. But alas the fat kid had it all figured out. See Bio’s dad was going to make him a partner someday and he and Bio would be rich. So he worked 40 plus hours a week at a whooping $3.35 an hour. Well Insurance man informed him after about two weeks, that fat kid owed him rent. The fat kid thought it was a joke. He was like, “What rent? I stay in the back bedroom like I have for years.” The insurance man said, “Well now you pay rent and board.” So almost half of his paycheck started going to Insurance man and his momma. Fat kid was mad and he started staying out late and partying with his buddies. Insurance man keeps telling the fat kid he would be moving out soon. Fat kid did not believe him. The fat kid switched jobs, and went to work for a distributing company. Better pay and better hours. One Thursday the fat kid drove home in his 1976 AMC Hornet and pulled up in his normal parking spot on the street. He walked inside all happy cause it was Thursday and Friday was pay day. Well Insurance man stopped him dead in his tracks. He said, “I found you a place to stay and you move in there starting tomorrow.” Fat kid was like, “Say what? Move, I don’t have first months rent and I can’t pay to get the utilities turned on.” Well Insurance man informed him that had all been taken care of. At time fat kid did not know, but he found out years latter that all the rent he had been paying went to help pay that first month rent and turn those utilities on.
So after work on Friday, fat kid started moving his stuff. He got his girlfriend to assist him. By Sunday afternoon he was finished and moved into his new place. He was thinking this might not be that bad. He would have his own place. He can sleep in on the weekend, have anybody he wanted over, and he didn’t even have to make his bed. Then a dose of reality hit fat kid on the head. His girlfriend, who at the time was engaged to him, said those four little words, “We need to talk”. She broke up with him. So here is fat kid in a puddle of tears, booted out of his house, and his woman had left him. So where does he go, well back to momma of course. Well Insurance man said, “Forget her and step up.” Well now fat kid was even madder then before at Insurance man, but in due time he did get over her.
Now fast forward to 1992, May to be exact. Fat kid has joined the Army and is in basic training at Ft Jackson, SC. He receives word that his first duty assignment will be South Korea. He thinks, “Wow that is far away.” (I won’t bore you with the little problem that fat kid was having at the time. I will just say Redheaded Witch and that should clue most of you in). October comes and fat kid finds himself in the “Land of the morning calm”. A lot of what he heard Insurance man talk about over the years is starting to sink in. See fat kid has never been that far away. So over the next five years of his Army career he notices more and more how much Insurance man loves him. See Insurance man told him not to make certain decisions in his life or they would have disastrous results. Most of the time fat kid would not listen. Now fat kid is getting older and he is seeing the Insurance man only wanted the best for him.
In 1997 Insurance man and his momma brought some friends with them and they visited fat kid in the Netherlands. One night after the friends had gone to bed, and fat kid’s momma had drifted off to slumber, Insurance man said something that fat kid will never forget. He told fat kid, “I’m proud of you.” And that my friends made fat kid happier then he had ever been up to that point in life. See a year prior to Insurance man and his momma visiting fat kid got drunk and received a DUI. Well fat kid stood up like a man and admitted his mistake to his commander right away. He even called Insurance man first to tell him of his mistake. So that night in Holland a year later made fat kid so happy and proud. Less then two weeks after they left to back to Georgia, fat kid found the best thing ever. He found his future wife. She stepped into his life and has been there for the last nine years.
Now let’s wrap this little story up. Insurance man and fat kid seem to get along great. So I will let the fat kid take it from here:
Sonny, I want to wish you a very happy birthday today. I love you more than anything on earth. You have made me who I am today and I owe you the world for it. What you have taught me I practice today with my two boys. I am proud to call you my dad and I love you more than you will ever know. Thank you and until we see each other again, God bless you and thanks for making Randahl James Helms a man.
Randy
Well this is a blog entry I have been waiting to post. See today, March 25th is a special day. I know its Saturday and to some that may mean sleeping in. Well that is not why it’s special. Some may say, “Hey one more day and they race at Bristol!” well that is true, but that doesn’t make it special either. No today marks something totally separate. Let’s look back in the past.
The year was 1983 and a little fat kid was sitting in front of the television. Probably had a spoon in his hand and he was getting ready to dive into some Cool whip. Yes, Cool whip minus anything else. See the fat kid loved it. Well the fat kid’s momma went on a date with some Insurance salesman. Fat kid didn’t care, it just meant his sister would be watching him, and she would be busy with her own thing. Well the fat kid’s momma started dating this man more and more. Finally came the day the fat kid met the Insurance man. The insurance man dropped of a bunch of food at the fat kid’s house. Instantly the kid liked this stranger. He brought cookies, snack cakes, chips, and real sodas, like Coke and Pepsi, not those Winn Dixie imitations. Well the fat kid had no money, so the Insurance man told him he would pay him to mow his yard. Well the fat kid saw a guitar at the Insurance man’s house. He said “Hey man, would you teach me that?” The Insurance man was kind to show him a couple of chords. He even let the fat kid take the guitar home and practice.
Now summer came and it was 1984. The fat kid had to go visit someone in Florida. So when the Insurance man and the fat kids momma came to pick up him and his sister, they, the fat kid and his sister, noticed their momma was wearing a new ring on her left hand. The fat kid said, “You two got married, didn’t you?” His momma smiled from ear to ear and said, “Yes”. Well the fat kid did not care one way or another, but boy did his sister cry. She must have cried the whole way back to Georgia.
Now skip ahead to about 1986. The fat kid was not so fat anymore. See the Insurance man put up a basketball goal in the front yard. Now the fat kid’s friends could play after school. Friends like, Joe Mama, Headquarters, Allan or was it Michael Ballenger, Jessie whatever his last name is this week, Roderick and his brother, Tinker, and last but not least Bio Miller. So the fat kid lost weight, but all of a sudden he became cocky. See the Insurance man had some pretty strict rules and the fat kid didn’t want to play by them. He thought the Insurance man was just being mean to him. Rules like, make your bed, don’t lay on your bed during the day, every white man is up by 8:00 am, to include the summer, chores are a good thing and you don’t talk at the dinner table. So the fat kid made some stupid mistakes. Little mistakes like, steal a gun, try to grow some of the special hemp in the backyard, and the worst was drink to much and lock the Insurance man and his momma out of the house.
Well the Insurance man told the fat kid, “I am in the shipping business, not the receiving business. So when you graduate high school in 1987, you have a couple of choices. First is going to college and still stay at home. Second is get a job and you move out.” Well the fat kid said, “I’ll take the college thing”. Well the insurance man informed him he would have to pay for half of it. The fat kid thought to himself for a minute, “That means I will have to probably work full time and go to school part time. Man that is too much, forget that.” So the fat kid decided to skip college and go to work full time.
So when the fat kid graduated from high school he went to work for Bio’s dad. He made minimum wage and no health benefits. But alas the fat kid had it all figured out. See Bio’s dad was going to make him a partner someday and he and Bio would be rich. So he worked 40 plus hours a week at a whooping $3.35 an hour. Well Insurance man informed him after about two weeks, that fat kid owed him rent. The fat kid thought it was a joke. He was like, “What rent? I stay in the back bedroom like I have for years.” The insurance man said, “Well now you pay rent and board.” So almost half of his paycheck started going to Insurance man and his momma. Fat kid was mad and he started staying out late and partying with his buddies. Insurance man keeps telling the fat kid he would be moving out soon. Fat kid did not believe him. The fat kid switched jobs, and went to work for a distributing company. Better pay and better hours. One Thursday the fat kid drove home in his 1976 AMC Hornet and pulled up in his normal parking spot on the street. He walked inside all happy cause it was Thursday and Friday was pay day. Well Insurance man stopped him dead in his tracks. He said, “I found you a place to stay and you move in there starting tomorrow.” Fat kid was like, “Say what? Move, I don’t have first months rent and I can’t pay to get the utilities turned on.” Well Insurance man informed him that had all been taken care of. At time fat kid did not know, but he found out years latter that all the rent he had been paying went to help pay that first month rent and turn those utilities on.
So after work on Friday, fat kid started moving his stuff. He got his girlfriend to assist him. By Sunday afternoon he was finished and moved into his new place. He was thinking this might not be that bad. He would have his own place. He can sleep in on the weekend, have anybody he wanted over, and he didn’t even have to make his bed. Then a dose of reality hit fat kid on the head. His girlfriend, who at the time was engaged to him, said those four little words, “We need to talk”. She broke up with him. So here is fat kid in a puddle of tears, booted out of his house, and his woman had left him. So where does he go, well back to momma of course. Well Insurance man said, “Forget her and step up.” Well now fat kid was even madder then before at Insurance man, but in due time he did get over her.
Now fast forward to 1992, May to be exact. Fat kid has joined the Army and is in basic training at Ft Jackson, SC. He receives word that his first duty assignment will be South Korea. He thinks, “Wow that is far away.” (I won’t bore you with the little problem that fat kid was having at the time. I will just say Redheaded Witch and that should clue most of you in). October comes and fat kid finds himself in the “Land of the morning calm”. A lot of what he heard Insurance man talk about over the years is starting to sink in. See fat kid has never been that far away. So over the next five years of his Army career he notices more and more how much Insurance man loves him. See Insurance man told him not to make certain decisions in his life or they would have disastrous results. Most of the time fat kid would not listen. Now fat kid is getting older and he is seeing the Insurance man only wanted the best for him.
In 1997 Insurance man and his momma brought some friends with them and they visited fat kid in the Netherlands. One night after the friends had gone to bed, and fat kid’s momma had drifted off to slumber, Insurance man said something that fat kid will never forget. He told fat kid, “I’m proud of you.” And that my friends made fat kid happier then he had ever been up to that point in life. See a year prior to Insurance man and his momma visiting fat kid got drunk and received a DUI. Well fat kid stood up like a man and admitted his mistake to his commander right away. He even called Insurance man first to tell him of his mistake. So that night in Holland a year later made fat kid so happy and proud. Less then two weeks after they left to back to Georgia, fat kid found the best thing ever. He found his future wife. She stepped into his life and has been there for the last nine years.
Now let’s wrap this little story up. Insurance man and fat kid seem to get along great. So I will let the fat kid take it from here:
Sonny, I want to wish you a very happy birthday today. I love you more than anything on earth. You have made me who I am today and I owe you the world for it. What you have taught me I practice today with my two boys. I am proud to call you my dad and I love you more than you will ever know. Thank you and until we see each other again, God bless you and thanks for making Randahl James Helms a man.
Randy
