Life's Highway - The Randy Helms Express

Last night the Staff Sergeant (SSG) who lives two doors down from me caught and Iraqi soldier in his room. The SSG was returning from using the bathroom, when he noticed his door open. He first thought someone was in there and his weapons are in there as well. When he walked in his room, he noticed the soldier going through his things. When the soldier turned around the SSG noticed he had batteries in his hand and a DVD stuck in the front of his pants. He quickly grabbed him and yelled for one of the Interpreters. I went outside and listened in. The soldier was high on some type of drug it appeared to us. About five us had gathered around and we told him he better glad we don't beat the bajabbers out of him. I told him, "If I caught you in my room dude, I'll knock the Muslim out of you." We turned him over to his Company Commander. I am sure the Company Commander probably beat the dog dodo out him.

Never a dull moment,

Randy

Posted by Randy at 8:51 PM | Permalink | Comments

Well I have posted blogs in the past wishing Happy Birthday's, so I thought I should also do one for Bailey. Today my Welsh Corgi turns six. He is by far the best dog I have ever owned. I really cannot say I own him, because he is just like a part of the family. Anyone who has ever been around him will attest that he is the greatest. His skills and tricks are untouchable by other muts. He acts just like a child at times by doing things he knows he is not suppose to do. For example tearing up the trash just so he can like the remains of a plastic jello cup. There was time when he was a pup and Isabel came home from work. She noticed he had knocked off the candy canes off the Christmas tree and had one between his two front paws licking it. I speak for Isabel, Caelan, and Ryleigh when I say Bailey Phoenix Helms is the best dog ever. Happy Birthday Bailey Boo.

Randy

Posted by Randy at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

I really have nothing to talk about. The last couple of days have been kind of nice. We have just been catching up on things that we have not been able to do. I have been able to hang out with my Admin guys. Of course they want to constantly see pictures of Isabel and the boys. They always ooh and ahh when they see her picture. Of course I do that too. I am a lucky man. "Am I kissing up enough to you, Baby?" Started trying to watch Deadwood at night. My CPT and I try to watch an episode a night. We don't always get to, because of meetings or planning stuff, but we try. I guess that is about it for now.

Holler,

Randy

Posted by Randy at 8:30 AM | Permalink | Comments

Another photo.
CPL C is on his knee reflecting on what has just occurred. SFC I is leaning on the vehicle talking with the medic, SGT Etherton. CPT O is on the right and I am on the left.

Posted by Randy at 11:21 AM | Permalink | Comments

I just wanted to drop a quick message to say hello. Yesterday it looked like we were going to get some rain. I was really hoping so, because it has been so hot as of late. Of course it did not rain, and that hot old sun just keeps beating down its rays. They tell us the real heat has not even arrived yet. August it should get around 140 everyday. Oh boy, what fun that will be.

The photo shows the wreckage of the M1114 (HUMVEE). It is nothing short of a miracle that anyone survived. I will admit that everyone on the scene was beat by the end of the day, but spirits were better then you would expect. I continue to give the Lord all the praise for this and I am so thankful that he has his guardian angels looking out for all of us.

SFC I will be leaving this week to go on leave. He was already scheduled for this leave, and it is well needed break for him to recuperate with his family. He will be going on a cruise and I am sure the waves of the ocean will be therapeutic (big word for me) to say the least.

I think someday I would love to take Isabel and the boys on one those Disney cruises myself. I can just see Caelan and Ryleigh with all the Disney characters running around the ship. Of course Isabel would enjoy the shows and you all know me. I would head straight to the buffet lines. And no Isabel I do think of other things beside food, but when I do think of other things food is normally nearby. Get it from my Dad, Sonny, because he likes to eat too. Just ask my Mom.

Thank you, Joe Willie Sousa for mentioning me on your radio show. I wish I could have heard it. Just the mere thought that you would mention to people to pray for us and to read my blog, makes me my heart swell with pride. I am just a soldier doing my job and the thought that people in Brunswick care, means the world. Someday Joe I will return to Brunswick and you, me, and OJJ will have to play some b-ball. (It’s all about the finesse).

Randy

Posted by Randy at 4:06 AM | Permalink | Comments

I am sure the subject line had you asking, what? I will comment on that in a minute. First off thank you for all the great emails, and messages about the IED strike. Things here of course have not slowed down at all. We are so swamped with work right now that we have not even had a chance to slow down. I am working diligently on getting all the awards and medals paperwork together, to ensure that everyone receives what they deserve. Of course life is the highest award that any of us can receive, but you want to ensure that people are recognized for their outstanding acts of valor and heroism.

I saw in the newspaper the other day that the owner of the Hooters chain of restaurants passed away. His name was Robert Brooks. One of my best friends’ names is Robert Brooks Hardin. Bobby leaves in Myrtle Beach, SC. Guess what? Mr. Robert Brooks passed away in Myrtle Beach were he had been residing. So if I was Bobby Hardin, I would start going to Hooters to eat and play it off that he is related and grieving. He probably would get a free meal. If they ask him, “What is the Hardin on the end of your name?” He can just respond with, "I am one of those hyphenated last name folks. See Hardin was my mother's name." It would be worth a shot.

Well I need to get back to work. I'll write again soon.

Randy

Posted by Randy at 12:28 PM | Permalink | Comments

The only thing I want to say in today's blog is THANK YOU JESUS.

I will let you know that the convoy I was traveling in yesterday was hit by Improvised Explosive Device (IED). The lead vehicle was hit under the back part of the drivers side on the HUMVEE. The vehicle I was in was the last one in the convoy. We are on a mission at the time. We had just searched a house and were on our way to the second set of houses to search. The IED was actually three IEDs put together. The HUMVEE was turned around 180 degrees from the direction it was traveling and ended up in a concrete ditch. The HUMVEE had five personnel traveling in it. The gunner, SFC I (my roommate) was blown out of the hatch going airborne and landing on the road. He only suffered 2nd degree burns on his backside and arms. He is fine, a little slow, but back in the room with me. The driver, a CPL C, was unharmed and walked away. The Tatical Commander, CPT O, only suffered a bloody nose and nice big scratch on the top of it. The Interpretor, Sadiq, has a broken hand and some burns mark on his hand. Unfortunately we did lose one passenger. An Iraqi Army soldier was traveling in the vehicle with them. Fasil was the Intel NCO and wonderful man. He was great at his job. He constantly was getting tips on places we need to go to check out the bad guys. He will be deeply missed amongst the Iraqi soldiers, and the other guys on this team.

Please understand I am not writing this to scare anyone, or try to make you have bad day. I am writing this as a thanks to my God. He truly is watching out me and others on this team. Some folks have wrote me in the past and said be safe, or don't be a hero. I understand what they mean, but let tell you something. The real hero is not one person on this team, but our family and friends who stand behind us. I dreaded calling Isabel last night and telling her. I knew she would be upset. The only thing I can say is, "Baby I love you, and I am alive". I try to be honest, because I feel like if I hold stuff back in will come back to haunt me. When this whole year is over, trust me I will stop and talk with someone at Ft Sam Houston. My mind is straight, and we talk to each other over here. The guys on this team are some of the finest I have been around. CPT O and SFC I are my brothers, and we have a bond like no other. We lean on each other and look out for each other. The first thing I did after I ran to the scene, was look for both of them.

In closing, I again say THANK YOU JESUS for keeping me safe.

"Fasil, I loved you brother, and you are in a better place."

Randahl J. Helms

Posted by Randy at 12:03 PM | Permalink | Comments

Here is a recap of the recent mission I went on.

We left Taji on Sunday around 1630 and traveled to Tarmiyah with another team and four trucks of Iraqi soldiers. I was the gunner on the 240B. We stopped in Tarmiyah and stayed at our command post until 0200. We were told to get some rack time, but I could not sleep. When I am told to sleep, I never can. We left at 0200 and we pulled Quick Reaction Force (QRF) duty until 0500. Basically we sat at a check point listening to the radio. If anything would have happened and they needed support, we would move in. At 0500 we went back to our command post and gathered up the Iraqi soldiers. We then proceed to assist them in clearing a seven mile road. Took forever, because they had to walk it. We made it to where the mission was taking place around 0800. We sat at the mission location until 1700. When we got there at 0800, they had already completed the main part of the mission. We were there as support. We stayed outside all day long. I felt like the sun was burning my face off, it was so hot. I drank about two gallons of water and I know I peed over a gallon. See as the gunner, I can't really just get down every time I have to go. So I keep a 1.5 liter empty bottle up there with me. I filled it twice. When I was relieved (no pun intended) a couple of times, I peed in the bushes. So it was easily over a gallon. That is a good thing, because it means I am hydrated. Bottom line though, no matter how miserable it was we got a couple of the guys we were looking for. I was awake for over forty hours. I crashed last night and sleep until 1000 today.

Later,

Randy (the photos are from the 3rd of July)

Posted by Randy at 10:11 AM | Permalink | Comments

Just a quick note, due to the fact we are really busy and will be for the next couple of days. That is a good thing, because it will give me more stuff to write about. Yesterday we were with out power from 1400 (2:00 pm) until 2130 (9:30 pm). The wonderful COL Alah claims that he did not receive fuel for us, even though everyone else on this side of the camp had their tanks fueled yesterday. His claim is, our fuel comes from a different location then everyone else and no one delivered it. He tried to tell one of the MSGs that it would be three days before we get power. Long story short, we were able to get fuel and had the power back on before we racked out. I have a feeling this will continue like this until this guy thinks he has punished us enough.

Here are a couple of cute pics of the boys. I see Ryleigh likes chocolate.

Randy

Posted by Randy at 8:54 PM | Permalink | Comments

I had to write the following statement tonight:

At approximately 2000, Myself, CPT O, Interpreters Sadiq, Ali, and Atheer were leaving the Coalition side headed back to Apache Barracks. We noticed there was a Nissan SUV blocking the entrance to the traffic circle. Behind the SUV was another Nissan truck. There someone talking to the passenger's side of the SUV. We then stopped at the entrance of the traffic circle. I got out of the vehicle to look at what was going on. I thought maybe the first truck had broken down. I then noticed both vehicles were still running, so I got back into my truck. About five seconds later, the gentlemen talking to the SUV returned to his truck. I then entered the traffic circle. When we approached the next traffic circle, I noticed a Nissan truck was blocking the road. A Iraqi Army soldier had gotten out of his vehicle with his weapon drawn towards us. At this point I did not know what was going on. I stopped my truck and got out. I approached the IA soldier and asked him what was the problem. I noticed his AK 47 was at the low ready with a magazine locked inside the well. He then raised his weapon, and pointed at me in the direction of my chest. He started yelling at me in Arabic. At this point, I was fearing for my safety and I was scared the IA soldier might shoot me. I asked him to lower his weapon, by using hand signals. He did not lower weapon, but continued to aim it at me. CPT O told me I should return to the vehicle and stay inside, which I did. I saw another person approaching us, whom we did not recognize. CPT O started talking with the gentlemen that was approaching. The gentlemen told CPT O to wait because COL Allah was coming. Then the SUV rolled up and a gentlemen in civilian clothes got out. He identified himself as COL Allah. COL Allah then told us we could leave, but our Interpreters must stay with him because they do not belong on this side and he was going to put them in jail. Then COL Allah started yelling in Arabic at the Interpreters. The Interpreters were talking with COL Allah in Arabic. One of the Interpreters, I do not recall which one, told CPT O that COL Allah wanted to arrest them and place them in jail. CPT O informed COL Allah that the Interpreters worked for us and we were leaving. CPT O asked COL Allah to please tell his IA soldier to move out of the way so we could leave. COL Allah said something in Arabic and the IA soldier moved out of the way. CPT O told me to leave. We returned to Apache Barracks.

Found a second mouse this afternoon dead under my night table. That is five we have killed and we just moved into the room in late April.

Randy

Posted by Randy at 12:24 PM | Permalink | Comments

This morning when I was making my normal daily pot of coffee, as I looked down what do you think I saw? Yep, another dead little critter. He was a small little mouse and he was dead. I of course jumped, because I am terrified of mice and rats. I ran out the room where SFC I was talking to his wife on the phone. He of course laughed at me (and insisted that I write this part on the blog). After I caught my breath, I went back inside and scooped him up with the our little broom and dust pan and threw him away. That makes four so far that have died in our room.

Nothing of real significance as of late. We are busy training the Iraqis on different things. I figured I would post to let you know that I am alive and doing fine.

And the winner is... OJJ with his correct guess of boxing promoter Don King in the mugshot below.

Randy

Posted by Randy at 8:06 PM | Permalink | Comments

VOTE FOR BAILEY. We have entered Bailey in an online contest. I need your help and support. Goto http://dogcentral.msn.com/Gallery.aspx Click on Select a Breed and goto Pembroke Corgi. It will take you to the page with all the Corgis. Place your mouse over each one, until Bailey's name pops up. Click on his photo and the vote for him. After that just close it and if you want you can do it as many times as you wish.

First off I must tell my good friend Bobby Hardin to hurry and get better. I found out this weekend that Bobby fell down a flight of stairs the other day. According to the email I received from Troy, Bobby is OK, but he did break both elbows and messed himself up some. I have fallen down a set of stairs twice in my life. The first time was at Isabel's mom's house about two days before I was headed to Ft Jackson for Basic Noncommissioned Officer Course (BNCOC). The second was at our house in San Antonio. Both times it hurt like the dickens. (Can anyone tell me what a dicken is? I am from the south and it's a southern word, but does it have a real meaning?) Get better Bobby.

So nice weekend here. Strange, but true, I really did have a nice one. Not to stressful and I was able to take off a little bit on Sunday to do what I wanted. Basically just went to the PX, the bazaar, and the video store. Bought a couple of things I needed, but keep the spending to a minimum.

We have another mouse in our house. SFC I saw him last night eating the poison we have laid out around the room. I must pray now. "Dear Lord, Please forgive me for my sins. God you said if two or more gather in your name, then you are there. Well Lord, it's me, myself and I here and we are asking that you keep that furry critter off my bed. I know you said do unto others, as you would have others do unto you. So I ain't sleeping in his bed, so keep him out of mine. And help him to die, I mean come see you sooner. In Jesus name I pray. The End (That's how Caelan finishes his night time prayers, THE END, instead of AMEN. Funny stuff).

Enjoy this pic today. Can anybody guess who it is? It's the same guy in both pics.

Randy

Posted by Randy at 10:10 AM | Permalink | Comments

CPT O and myself were talking yesterday and we have decided the quality of music that bands and individuals are putting out these days stink. So we have come up with the best way for musicians to figure out whether their new song is a hit or garbage. They need to take their song and ask themselves What Would Elvis Have Done? Would he have song it. Let's face it the King new a hit song when he heard one. You name me one song that Elvis sang that is not good. If more artists used our theory, we would be listening to some pure, solid gold hits these days.

Take it easy,

Randy

Posted by Randy at 8:25 PM | Permalink | Comments

It took numerous meetings and yelling amongst our area and the Iraqi COL in charge, but finally we have power 24 hours a day. We received a signed letter that says power must remain on in our area. Thank the good Lord above. I will tell you the last couple of days have been murder on my body and coming back to a room with no air condition or lights made it worse. At least now it is nice an cool inside my room.

The other day I sent the following email to the Management of the rock band Cinderella.

Dear Union Entertainment Group Staff, My name is Randy Helms. I am a Staff Sergeant presently serving in Iraq. My mission here is to train Iraqi soldiers, so we can finally leave this country, when they can secure it on their own. My main reason for writing is, I have a really cool idea that I think might spark you interest. I am huge lover of the 80s hair metal bands. Being 37 and a guitar player for the last 24 years, you can understand why. Cinderella is my all time favorite from that era. I have been fortunate to see them four time live. They always rocked and I could tell that they just like to jam. My idea stems around getting about two or three bands from that time frame and putting them around a fire with some acoustic guitars. They would be joined by several soldiers, airmen, marines, and navy guys and girls who just returned from service in Iraq and Afghanistan. I was thinking maybe a select few would be able to play along with the bands. In between the songs, by the way I feel should be some by the bands and also some classic covers, the troops could share stories of their deployments. I would be willing to bet that VH-1 Classic would snatch it up. I have asked some of the guys I am over here with if they would watch something like that and they all said yes. I of course do not return from my deployment until either late Dec 2006 or early Jan 2007. Please let me know what you think of my idea. Thanks a million, Randy Helms

They responded with this:


Hi Randy...

I'm Tim Heyne, CINDERELLA's manager. Bryan Coleman forwarded me your email regarding your idea for a sort of "military/band unplugged" so to speak, type thing. While I'm not sure about pulling something like together, I do know that you would have the musicians of all those era bands, particularly from Cinderella, wanting to do show their support toward all our troops and for y'all putting it on the line for us day after day & minute after minute, over there.

One thing I can do is send you some Cinderella CDs now. To where shall we send?

Best,

Tim Heyne

Who knows if they will do it, but it would be really cool. I have a couple other ideas of whom to send this idea/request too. I will keep you posted.

Well I was 50/50 on my prediction for the World Cup final. I will go with Italy now to win the whole thing. Sorry Papa Joe, Joe Willie, and OJJ, better luck next time. Go eat a pork chop sandwich at Willie's Weenie Wagon in their honor.

Randy

Posted by Randy at 8:31 PM | Permalink | Comments

As I write this blog today, saying I am tired would be a great understatement. We started at 0530 this morning. We had to go to Tarmiyah to check all the Entry Control Points (ECPs). We wanted to start early to try and avoid some of the heat. No such luck as it was blazing by 1000. We were back to Taji by 1430.

Now for what happened that was worth writing about. Around 0730 we were parked by one of the ECPs, checking the Iraqi Army (IA) out and ensuring that they were doing their job correctly. In other words, they were searching the people as they entered and also spot checking vehicles. This one particular ECP is on the south part of the town and it's nearby a bunch of houses. There are Palm groves around this area as well. I noticed something crossing the dirt road ahead of me. I could not make it out right away. As it got closer, I realized it was a ferret. Not sure, but would be willing to bet it escaped from somebody's house. It was just running back and forth; in and out of the marsh like area. Since I was in the gunner's hatch, I could see it as plain as day. I noticed about six birds come flying in real low. Then they chased the ferret away. About 20 minutes later, I saw a man and two women walking on a cross street ahead of me. Trailing them badly was a dog. His poor paw was definitely broken or he had something in it. The paw was completely bent. He was trying so hard to keep of with his owners. (Yes you can cry now, but don't fear I have joke for you at the end of this paragraph). Then about 15 minutes later, I saw another dog and he too was limping. I guess the local dog gang must have had an initiation last night and they jumped those two in. (Here is the joke: What did the three legged dog say when he entered the cowboy bar? I am looking for the man who shot my paw.)

We traveled to another ECP and MSG L saw this kid walking along the Palm groves. He said the kid (Who was about 16) was carrying a basket, but was struggling with it. When he looked up and saw MSG L and his Humvee parked along side the road, he placed the basket on the ground. He then started acting like he was washing his face and his hand. He kept looking up at MSG L. When he noticed that MSG L was approaching him he picked up the basket and started to go back the opposite direction. MSG L yelled at him and he stopped. Inside the basket was an old Russian machine gun. We took the boy in and he squealed like a pig on everybody. The funny thing is MSG L is 57 years old. He told me, "If that kid would have just dropped the basket and ran, I would have never caught him with all this body armor on." Dumb kid, maybe he wanted to get caught.

Bang, Bang is the sounds I heard when we approached the last ECP of the day. The IAs were shooting at some wow-hobbies (Means bad guys or terrorists in Arabic). The bullets from the wow-hobbies was flying over me as we drove up. Of course I spun the 50 Cal around and grabbed my trusty M4 rifle, but I could not see them. They were smart and were hiding in a very heavy area of palm trees and wood like area. That did not stop the IAs from shooting. I don't think I was in any danger, but it does make you go "Wow".

So as you can see I had a very busy, but interesting day. Did I mention it was about 120, but with all that stuff on its about 130. I am enclosing a paragraph that the world toughest sheriff said. His name is Joe Arpaio and he is the sheriff of Maricopa County (Phoenix, AZ). Sheriff Joe is the one who makes the inmates wear pink underwear, pink tee shirts, eat two meals a day, serve them green bologna, only allows them to watch G rated movies, has chain gangs, and also makes them live in tents in the middle of the desert, when it gets to be around 120. (He also pinned my E-6 rank on along with Isabel) Here is the comment he had to an inmate who complained about tent city:

"It feels like we are in a furnace," said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 year. "It's inhumane." Joe Arpaio tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat Bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: "It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"

Randy

"Sheriff Joe section was copied from Joe Willie on the Shrimpbox at http://joewillie.blogspot.com/

Posted by Randy at 7:54 AM | Permalink | Comments

So I have told you on several blogs in the past that we have or had a rat (actually mice) problem. For those that really know me, you know I am terrified of them. As big as I am I cannot stand them, unless they are in a cage. When Renee and I were younger we actually had a pet rat.

Ever since I returned from leave I could smell a dead rodent in our room. I looked and looked, but never found the carcass. Last night I opened my second closet and the smell hit me again. I started looking around in the bottom and noticed a bunch of rat pellets. I grabbed a duffel bag that was in there and smelt inside. The odor was strong and I knew he had crawled in there. I just hoped he really was dead. SFC I and myself took the bag outside and emptied it. When I started putting things back in SFC I jumped back and said there it is. I immediately jumped back as well. Here are two of the Army's best killers running scared from a little dead rat.

Hopefully that is the last of them.

Randy

Posted by Randy at 10:37 PM | Permalink | Comments

Just got back from a mission in Tarmiyah. We searched a bunch of garages for about three hours. I can't say what we were looking for, but the Iraqi Army soldiers did a great job. I was the gunner, so I had a great view of them going into the places and looking around. They really do impress me at times. It was blazing hot, because we conducted the raids during the hottest part of the day. I had already drank about a gallon and half, almost two gallons of water before we even left. I was scared I might have to pee while we were out. May sound sick, but I had an empty water bottle up in the hatch with me just in case.

Well tomorrow is the 4th of July and I am sure all of you will be enjoying a day of hot dogs, burgers, and fireworks. Isabel told me she plans on going over to the Air Force base by our house and letting the boys have some fun. I am sure they will get a kick from the fireworks. Poor Bailey will be hating life tomorrow night, since he cannot stand loud noises. Hopefully it's rather quit in our neighborhood.

I want to pass along a great big shout out to my cousin Shannon. You really are a great supporter of me and the rest of the troops over here (I read your blog dude). Shannon, La Shonda (his sister, my cousin) and my sister Renee, have some great memories of when we were younger. Running around in my late grandparents church in Pinellas Park, FL. Thanks again Shannon for your kind words.

Oh and Sousa brothers, there is no way on earth will I pull for Portugal when they play France in the Semi Finals of the World Cup. After they beat the Dutch, I cannot pull for them. Tell Papa Joe I am sorry. I am predicting Germany vs France in the final, with Germany taking the whole thing.

That is all,
Randy

Posted by Randy at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Comments

I have spent five days in Tarmiyah and I am very tired. We were very busy up there with a lot of work. At night I did get to watch the World Cup with the Iraqis. That was a lot of fun. Of course most of the teams I rooted for lost. My two favorites fell out a long time ago, so I really do not care who wins.

The sun continues to get hotter here in Taji. I am drinking over a gallon of water a day to stay hydrated. That is a must here to ensure you do not become a heat causality. I would hate to fall out because I did not drink enough water.

Caelan will hopefully will be staring Pre-K very soon. We just got word of a new law in Texas that allows dependents of Military members to start Pre-K at four years old. I know Isabel could use the break a couple days of the week. Both boys are a handful and they can be some monsters at times.

Take care, until I write again,

Randy

Posted by Randy at 8:47 PM | Permalink | Comments